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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Good morning crew,

It's June 21st. That means summer is finally here! And once again no one is having any Solstice parties. Come on! What is wrong with you people?

If this indifference continues I'm going to have to start doing it myself.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Father's Day cards fit into four major categories: golf, fishing, barbecue, beer. And beer. And beer. And beer. What kind of message is this? 'Dad, you are a potbellied drunk and we're sending you to rehab after you finish mowing the lawn.' We need to mix it up a little. Either the cards need to change, or we do." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

"Two Australian farmers recently created a kind of vodka made from carrots. It's the best thing that's ever happened to rabbit bachelorette parties." -Seth Meyers

***

"More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it's due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30." -Jimmy Fallon

***

My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

"Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."

"Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied.

"And what about Salt Lake City?"

"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake; $99," she said. "But there is a stopover."

"Where?"

"In Denver," she said.

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