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Saturday, June 17, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A man who robbed a bank because he wanted to get away from his wife and be in jail, has now been sentenced to home confinement, according to police in Kansas.

The Kansas City man was sentenced to six months home confinement and 50 hours of community service for the bank robbery that he blamed on a fight with his wife, U.S. Attorney Tom Beall said.

Lawrence John Ripple, 71, pleaded guilty to one count of bank robbery.

A criminal complaint in the case alleged that Ripple sat down in the lobby and waited for police after robbing the Bank of Labor in Kansas City.

He told investigators that after an argument with his wife he felt he would rather be in prison than go back home.

According to the police investigation, Ripple had been arguing with his wife before he told her that he would rather be in jail than live with her.

He then wrote a note, in which he demanded money from the bank, in front of his wife.

Ripple went to a Bank of Labor branch, and gave the note to a bank teller, demanding cash and warning that he had a gun.

Ripple took the $3,000 in cash and sat down in the lobby, where he told a security guard that he was the guy that the police were looking for.


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She Might Have Killed It, But She Didn't Eat It

A vegetarian had no choice but to kill an animal suffering from rabies with her bare hands. 21-year-old Rachel Borch from Hope, Maine said that she was jogging in the woods near her home when a raccoon appeared in front of her. Borch instantly knew that the raccoon was infected with rabies as it was foaming from its mouth. After a few moments of growling at her, the raccoon went on the attack, biting her thumb. Borch began swinging the animal, but it refused to let go. Luckily, there was a puddle nearby so Borch forced the raccoon’s head into the puddle of rainwater. After a few seconds, the raccoon lost consciousness and Borch was able to pull her thumb out of the animal. Borch quickly ran home, and her mother Elizabeth, drove her to the hospital. Borch said that despite being vegetarian she had to kill the animal with her bare hands in self defense.


*------- 'She's a ballerina in the air.' -------*

Aerialist Erendira Wallenda performed a series of acrobatic acts while hanging by her teeth and toes from a helicopter hundreds of feet above the Niagara Falls. Wallenda bit into a customized mouthpiece on a hoop fastened to the bottom of a helicopter that hovered above the falls. During the approximately 20-minute flight she used her teeth to grip on to the mouth piece for 10 seconds on her first attempt and then again for five seconds. "That's where I feel alive," Wallenda told the CBC. "This is what I was meant to do. You just get lost in the moment." Wallenda performed the daring stunt on the fifth anniversary of the day her husband and fellow acrobat Nik Wallenda walked across a high wire from the American side of the Falls to the Canadian side. "She's a ballerina in the air," he said.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

LEWIS; Isn't it also true that in India exterminating spiders, insects, rodents and other pests is prohibited because of the Hindu belief in reincarnation? -R.S.
[Do you know any Catholics who eat meat on Friday?]

Lewis, This is not the first wedding problem caused by a beaver. Was she a Maid of Honor? See Sonny and the Godfather wedding. -James

The story about the beaver that sabotaged the wedding. Later that night the groom punished the beaver over and over.

This won't be the last time a beaver causes problems with this marriage. -Rob
[You guys don't like to let a joke go to waste, do you?]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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