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Friday, June 16, 2017

Good morning crew,

So the trip and the family get-together were a lot of fun, but ultimately not terribly exciting.

I mean, how stimulating can sitting in a car for 12 hours get? For the wife and I, anyway. The dog was ecstatic to be on a road trip. In fact, she got ecstatic all over the front of my shirt about two hours into the adventure.

It was my own fault for letting her sit in my lap. After that I took the wife's advice and locked her in her cage in the back of the vehicle.

But once we finally got to Pennsylvania everything went smoothly (after I changed my shirt).

My sister and her husband put out quite a spread in order to accommodate the 40 or so family members that descended on their house like a swarm of locusts.

They had a big, 20-by-20 foot pavilion tent set up on their lawn along with several rows of tables and chairs, and two gas barbecue grills were burning all afternoon in order to cook the small mountain of sausages, dogs, burgers and chops of various descriptions that everyone slowly but determinedly plowed their way through.

Other than that it was just two days of catching up, telling stories and reminiscing. And, of course, I got to spend some quality time visiting with my dear mother who lives out there now.

The only thing I kind of regret was not including enough time to do any sight-seeing while we were out there. While the town my sister and brother-in-law live in is a tiny, little rural town, it is only an hour or two from historic attractions like Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington and Gettysburg.

Our last day there the wife and I were trying to decide whether to risk mid-day traffic and leave for home early, or instead spend the day being tourists and start driving back in the afternoon. Gettysburg was recommended to us as a 'must-see' and at less than an hour away was the closest destination to my sister's house.

Instead we spent the afternoon driving around to a couple of the wineries that seem to be popular in south-eastern Pennsylvania. The way the wife put it, we never see these little, local east coast wines for sale in the midwest, so we might never get another chance to try them, and if we bring a case or two home we can give some bottles away as gifts.

And really, what's at Gettysburg anyway except for a big field of grass?

And cannons. They have some cannons, too.

Laugh it up,


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"There is a new version of the Bible that has updated language that's coming out. For example, it refers to Jesus' disciples as 'wingmen.'" -Conan O'Brien


"A French fashion label is now offering a pair of $570 jeans that come without a butt. There's nothing in the butt. I have got to tell you, these jeans are a great way of telling your friends and coworkers that your father never paid enough attention to you." -James Corden


"A new study found that many popular oregano brands are really olive leaves and other leaves falsely labeled as oregano. Or as high school stoners put it, 'Wait, this still isn't marijuana?'" -Jimmy Fallon


Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment.

One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?"

"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.

"The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"

"Monogamy," he answered.

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