GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com

Monday, June 12, 2017

Good morning crew,

Heading back tomorrow. I should be getting home sometime between midnight and 2 in the morning.

I don't know why, but all weekend I've had a nagging feeling that I forgot something last weekend. It's probably just garden variety paranoia, but if the house isn't there when I get back then I'll know I forgot to turn the gas off.

I'll fill you in on any fun details later in the week.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"At a Walmart in Minnesota, a customer had to tackle a confused deer after it wandered into the store. The deer is fine and was released back into the wild, which makes this the happiest possible ending to a story of a deer walking into one of America's largest suppliers of hunting rifles." -James Corden

***

"A new study reveals that the average fast-food chicken nugget is almost 60 percent fat. The study also says that the average fast-food customer is almost 60 percent chicken nuggets." -Conan O'Brien

***

"According to a new report, there is a shrine in Japan solely dedicated to hemorrhoids. Seating is limited, but usually available." -Seth Meyers

***

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like.

The way he tells it, the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

Top Viewed Issues