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Saturday, June 10, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It may sound like an urban legend parents tell to frighten their kids into behaving, but it was terrifyingly real to one teenager in Spain.

Valencia police have launched an investigation after a swimming pool filter sucked out the intestines of the 14-year-old boy. According to the police, the boy went to the leisure center to get swimming lessons. After getting the lessons, the teen decided to stay in the pool with his friends.

For some reason he removed the vent of the swimming pool filter. As a result, he got sucked into the filter. Here is where the story gets a little fuzzy, but we can only assume what body part got caught in the filter, or why he put it in there in the first place.

Whatever the reason, the boy could not free himself due to the strong suction.

Witnesses at the scene quickly turned off the filter and several people rushed to pull out the unconscious teen from the water. He was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent hours of surgery to put his intestines back into his body.

The teen remains in critical condition, but is expected to survive.


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*-- Peacock Goes on Bender in CA Liquor Store --*

A peacock wreaked havoc on a Southern California liquor store by destroying hundreds of dollars worth of alcohol. Royal Oaks Liquors manager Rani Ghanem said a customer tipped him off to the presence of the large peafowl that had perched itself on a shelf beneath a neon Pabst Blue Ribbon beer sign. Ghanem was overwhelmed as the peacock flapped its wings around the store and even flew toward him. "It flew towards me. I didn't know they could actually fly high but it flew up above the counter and it landed here on top of the ice cream freezer. This was really out of my comfort zone, I was kind of scared I didn't know what to do." The manager eventually called animal control, who quickly arrived to capture the large bird. In its attempts to evade the officer, the bird sent liquor bottles crashing to the floor, destroying $500 in wine and champagne. After struggling with the peafowl for a short while, the officer managed to sneak up behind the bird and capture it while it rested on a high shelf.


*------------- Porn Star Gone Wild -------------*

A porn actress is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly punching her boyfriend in the face during a post-coital quarrel. According to investigators, Lauren Kaye Scott struck the victim Saturday in his Pinellas Park home. The man suffered a "swollen lip with a cut" during the confrontation, a police officer stated. As detailed in an arrest affidavit, the 23-year-old Scott "would not get off the phone" after having sex with her boyfriend, who asked Scott to leave the residence. Scott, cops say, "became upset" and struck her boyfriend of six months in the face. Scott was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge and booked into the county jail. As noted on the arrest affidavit, Scott identified her employer as "porn industry." She has stared in such videos as 'Slut Puppies 9,' 'Anal Buffet 10,' and 'Milk Maids.' In a handwritten motion Scott asked a judge for permission to travel to Los Angeles, where she reported that she lives with her husband, who is probably glad his wife has a boyfriend to take her aggression out on.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Lewis, was the guy in Illinois trying to skip out on his bill, or was he just having a last meal before he committed suicide?
[If you were going to have a 'last meal' would you go to someplace called Nero's Pizza and Pub?]

The guy's housekeeper burned his CONDO down? Who the hell needs a housekeeper for a condo. Douchebag deserved it.

If that kid was small enough to worm his way inside a claw machine, I've got to ask where the hell his parents were while he was getting into trouble? A kid that small can't be more than three or four. What kind of parents leave there 4-year-old alone in public to play in an arcade? Arrest those assholes.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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