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Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Good morning crew,

There is an informal family reunion brewing in Pennsylvania this coming weekend and I talked the wife into driving over there with me. At first I was going to fly, but really it is only a 10 or 11 hour drive. When you consider that a 2 hour flight involves a 50 minute drive to the airport, 90 minutes standing in check-in lines and security lines, then an hour waiting for your bags on the other end, plus then having to either rent a car or chase taxis all over town, for an extra few hours I can have the convenience of driving my own vehicle at my own pace.

But I think the real deciding factor was the dog. Taking her with us eliminates the expense of boarding her, and the wife is just tickled over the prospect of taking her on a road trip.

Plus, neither of them have been to Pennsylvania before, so they'll have something new to bond over.

She just better not get car sick, that's all I have to say. I will not be able to handle 10 hours trapped in a vehicle with a vomiting dog.

Or a vomiting wife, for that matter.

Laugh it up,


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"There's a new report that says more than half of American workers didn't use all their vacation days last year. They had them, they just didn't take them. So the people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family." -Jimmy Kimmel


"The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three Nicolas Cage movies." -Conan O'Brien


"According to a new study, the recommendation that people need eight glasses of water per day is a myth. I think we figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of water and still survived." -Seth Meyers


At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.

One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.

When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?"

"Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH!

Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed.

When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH!

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