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Monday, June 5, 2017

Good morning crew,

So the backyard landscaping project is nearing completion. Phase 1 of it, anyway. The wife and I got a big chunk of it done Sunday.

In one corner of the yard we have reserved a little section for some kind of display piece. It's a nice, flat area surrounded by rock and the wife already bought a big slab of stone to lay there in anticipation of accommodating something or other. The only question remains; what?

My suggestion was something simple (and cheap) like a nice, big, decorative pot that we could plant flowers in every year. But the wife wants something European inspired.

We have discussed a water feature, or a little stone bench with a trellis over it, or maybe a windmill.

Over the weekend she got inspired by something we saw over and over again in Europe. "How about a statue of Manneken Pis?" she said.

Manneken Pis means "Little man Pee" in Dutch and if you look it up you will immediately recognize the image of a chubby little boy peeing into a basin.

I vetoed that idea right off.

"If you want to see a naked guy peeing in the back yard," I told her, "Just ask me."

Laugh it up,


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"One of the winners of this year's Scripps National Spelling Bee has an older brother who won the competition in 2014. Or as their dad put it, 'I'm just going to throw these baseball mitts away.'" -Jimmy Fallon


"People have been selling fake parking spaces. They charge people to park in spots that they have no ownership of. Here's a tip to avoid becoming a victim of this fraud. If you find a parking space during the festival, it's a scam." -Jimmy Kimmel


"A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers


On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt.

Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up on the floor as though he were ill. She said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm gonna have a wife!"

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