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Saturday, June 3, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A land owner was shocked to find a man having sex with a horse, according to police in Arizona.

The Yuma County Sheriff's Office said that they have arrested 20-year-old Christopherson Maynes, after being caught on video having sex with the land owner's horse.

According to the criminal complaint, the Yuma County Sheriff's Office responded to an animal cruelty case. Upon arrival, deputies met with the reporting party who stated that the suspect had been caught having sexual intercourse with a horse on the property.

Deputies were able to recover video evidence of the suspect.

Maynes was arrested and booked into the Yuma County Detention Center. He was charged with bestiality, indecent exposure and animal cruelty.


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*-------- Spite; It's the American Way --------*

A disgruntled former 7-Eleven franchisee in Massachusetts opened a competing 6-Twelve business after losing his store. Abu Musa opened up the 6-Twelve store across the street from the 7-Eleven he previously operated in South Boston after feuding with the convenience store company over its business practices. His conflict with 7-Eleven began when he said the company forced him to offer hot food such as taquitos and hot dogs, which customers rarely bought. He tried to resist and his relationship with the company ultimately came to an end in 2014 when 7-Eleven accused Musa of failing to ring in purchases and voiding others. The company attempted to revoke his franchise and both sides eventually reached a settlement outside of court. Musa then opened the 6-Twelve store across the street from his old 7-Eleven location with the intention of using his knowledge of the company to act as a direct competitor. "My goal is to get them to close," he said. "I know the price of everything in that store so I sell the same things cheaper." Some of Musa's old customers supported him in his endeavor. "I come here because of him," customer Dave Duffley said. "He greets everyone with a smile, and this feels like an American success story. Corporate pushed him out, so he went right across the street and opened his own shop. What's not to love?"


*----- Talk About Pissing Away Your Money -----*

Two burglars who tried to steal cash from a bank ATM, accidentally set their cash on fire, according to police in Washington. The Everett Fire Department responded to the Coastal Community Bank on the report of a fire alarm. A fire had started inside the business when someone used a cutting tool to access the ATM. Property damage has been estimated at over $35,000 for the burned cash, broken ATM and building repairs. Detectives identified the two suspects as Eli Steen and Jason Kovar. Video surveillance shows that after setting the cash on fire by using a blowtorch, one of the men attempted to extinguish the flames by urinating on the money. However, his efforts did not pay off, and they fled from the scene. Crime Stoppers is offering a $1,000 reward and Coastal Community Bank is offering $5,000 for information leading to the arrest and prosecution of the suspects.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

About that stolen swan story I have one question: what was the bucket for? -Chris
[Ah ha! Obviously you've never stolen a swan sculpture.]

I wonder if that Washington State woman keeps her hairspray in her car so that she do her hair and makeup on her way to Vancouver? -Keith
[This must be an inside joke, 'cause I don't get it.]

I need to find somebody I can sue over something. It seems like legal action is the only real get-rich-quick plan. Unfortunately for me I have always been cursed with good luck. When, Lord? When is some tragedy going to befall me that I can shamelessly cash in on?

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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