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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Good morning crew,

A three-day weekend always makes it hard to get into the swing of the week. My brain is telling me it's Wednesday, but my internal clock keeps telling me it's Tuesday.

Fortunately for me what it really is, is payday.

No four-day-old leftovers and Pasta Roni for me tonight.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Today, Mark Zuckerberg - who dropped out of Harvard University after his sophomore year - gave a commencement speech to Harvard's graduating class. Zuckerberg began the speech with, 'Hello, suckers.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"A new study from Harvard says you can reduce the risk of a potentially fatal heart condition by eating six bars of chocolate a week. Yeah. It reduces the chance of a heart attack because once you give up being in shape, you have way less stress." -James Corden

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"A new report recommends that couples who live together should do chores together. And for some couples, everything they do together is a chore." -Seth Meyers

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In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared that he had earned a law degree at Oxford. Then, in his thick English accent, he proudly proclaimed that he was now a "barrister."

My 13-year-old daughter wasn't impressed. "So," she said, "he spent all that effort getting an Oxford law degree, and now he works at Starbucks?"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

My wife is a very adventurous cook. "How does this sound?" she called out from the kitchen. "Bonito, surimi, and anchovies in a decadent, silky broth."

"Sounds delicious," I hollered back. "Is that what we're having tonight?"

"No. I'm reading from this packet of cat food."

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