Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Authorities in Florida are asking for the public's help finding a large $25,000 swan sculpture stolen by a naked man. The Polk County Sheriff's Office said surveillance cameras at Lakeland Cold Storage were recording when a naked man carrying a 5-gallon bucket squeezed through a gap in the fence.

"Do you call that buck naked, or bucket naked?" the sheriff's office quipped in a Facebook post. A Ford pickup truck was seen minutes later driving away with the giant black and white swan sculpture in the back.

The pickup truck, which was stolen, was later recovered "sans swan" and the man in the security camera footage was arrested Tuesday, but he's been mum as to the swan's location.

"So, we have a naked man, a bucket, and a very expensive and very large stolen swan. We know who the man is, and we have the truck back. But have you seen the missing swan? Call us," the sheriff's office said.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Click http://gopherarchives.gophercentral.com

Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com




*- Who Would Have Though? Candy Contains Sugar -*
A woman filed a class action lawsuit against Jelly Belly because she did not know their Sport Beans jellies contained sugar. Jessica Gomez of California filed the lawsuit against the candy maker, claiming that she had no idea that their Sport Beans contained sugar. The Sport Beans are marketed as an exercise supplement. On the Jelly Belly company's website, the Sport Beans are advertised as supplements that is "scientifically formulated to maximize sports performance." The company wrote that the jellies are "clinically proven to maximize sports performance as each bean is loaded with carbs for fuel, electrolytes to help maintain fluid balance and vitamins to optimize energy release." Gomez said that company used "fancy phrasing" such as "evaporated cane juice," which is a form of sugar, on the packaging, tricking her into believing that the product was sugar-free. Jelly Belly is trying to get the lawsuit dismissed. They claim That "Gomez could not have seen the words 'evaporated cane juice' without also seeing the product's sugar content on its Nutrition Facts panel."

------------------------------------------------------------

*---------- Hairspray, the Explosive ----------*
A Washington state woman returned to her car after work to discover a can of hairspray had exploded and embedded itself in her windshield. Karmen Ayres said she walked out of work in Vancouver and immediately noticed her windshield was severely cracked and there was an object embedded in it. "At first I looked up, because I thought maybe something fell," Ayres said. "But then I noticed it was from the inside out. I was in shock and then I realized what it was. Sure enough, it was my hairspray that exploded, and it was in the back seat... it's a far distance to travel and with a lot of force to break through the window." She said temperatures were in the low 90s and that apparently caused the inside of her car to reach levels the aerosol can couldn't tolerate. "It launched like a rocket," she said. Ayres posted a photo of the damage to Facebook. "TIP OF THE DAY: Don't leave your hairspray unattended in your car on a hot and sunny day," she wrote.




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
There are NO brothels in Las Vegas, Nv....It is ILLEGAL in Clark County. The brothel you were talking about is near Carson City, Nv.


Lewis, the story about the guy driving the big rig. it was closer to Carson City than Vegas. Clark County and Vegas don't allow brothels within their limits. -Steve From Las Vegas.


Bunny Ranch is in Mound House up near Reno. That is about 455 miles away from Las Vegas pal. Las Vegas is a very proper establishment, NO BROTHELS in town. Gotta go out down the desert backroads and such for that kinda action.
[I received a couple more comments like these that were a little less polite. Why doesn't it surprise me that BN readers are so familiar with brothels and the laws relating to them?]


That woman's monkey was clearly a support animal. Would that deputy have forced a blind man to leave his seeing eye dog in the car? That woman should sue the county for discriminating against the emotionally handicapable! Despicable.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*