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Sunday, May 28, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Tomorrow is Memorial Day; a time to remember, a time to be grateful to those who have sacrificed for us, also a time for a three-day-weekend and a barbecue!

The weather forecast for my area is looking a little sketchy right now, but with any luck I'll be standing over a barbeque grill tomorrow burning off most of my body hair. At least my wife will be happy. She's been trying to get me for forever.

Even though the Solstice is next month everybody pretty much considers this the unofficial beginning of summer, so there is a lot of golf to pack into the next three and a half months!

But if you are going to be outside tomorrow, grilling pounds of delicious cheeseburgers and mountains of sausages and drinking all of that ice cold beer, please take a minute to remember the men and women who died in the service. It's their day!



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"This week, a man wearing a 'Make America Great Again' hat caused a disruption and was removed from an international flight. It's the first time a sitting president has been kicked off Air Force One." -Conan O'Brien

The day it all started was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo, and walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort.

William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving towards the Alamo.

With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said, "Jim, are we, by any chance, having any landscaping done today?"

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally grabbed a bottle of Liquid Paper. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex...

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! Yes, I am sexually active, but I'm dating Susan!"