Friday, May 19, 2017

Good morning crew,

89 degrees yesterday and 49 degrees today. That's global warming for you. Worse, it is supposed to rain most of the weekend, so we probably won't get any work done on our magnum landscaping opus.

It just galls me to start something and leave it half finished for months at a time. And the longer it goes unfinished the more it gnaws at my mind. I laid awake half the night last night thinking about it.

I have this terrible fear that one thing after another is going to keep us from finishing it until winter rolls around again and it drags into next year.

I'm starting to suffer anxiety attacks. Over landscaping no less.

Since when did I become so uptight?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Blue Cross is partnering with Lyft to give people rides to the doctor. It costs $600. The drivers are specially trained, and - it's just an ambulance." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A company has come out with a robot that makes salad. So finally - a robot that's not going to take away any American jobs!" -Conan O'Brien

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"A new study released today shows that blotting pizza with a napkin to remove extra grease can remove an average of 40 calories per slice. So if you're looking for an easy way to lose weight, just eat that napkin." -Seth Meyers

***
One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.

Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, "What do you have in your pocket?"

"Tennis ball," the man said, smiling back.

"Wow!" said the woman looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A tourist on a diving charter off the coast of Florida asks the blond dive master: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the blond replies: "Think about it! If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."