MOUTHPIECE - May 16, 2017

Good Afternoon,

I went to the dentist the other day and began to think that there must be some crazy dentists out there... with wrinkly fingers after having them in a bunch of wet mouths all day.

My dentist is okay, but if you're worried about yours make sure to go over the list I have for you today - The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy. Hopefully, your dentist doesn't do number five. I'll cross my fingers. That's the tooth... I mean "truth"!

Smile...and enjoy!

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"It is easier to stay out than get out."
--Mark Twain

"Anger is never without Reason, but seldom with a good One."
--Benjamin Franklin

"Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don't."
--Louis C.K.



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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy --*
1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.

2. His restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders"

3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.

4. Does an extensive search for cavities...dental and body.

5. He...ummm...licks his tools clean.

6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.

7. When you come to from being under the gas, he's quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.

8. Wears a necklace made of human teeth.

9. Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.

10. Insists that a Novocaine shot is something that he'll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.

***
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