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Thursday, May 11, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I got home to learn that my oldest daughter was out doing maid of honor things, my middle daughter was at the college library doing some project and my son was playing basketball. It was me and the wife. So we ate dinner, made coffee and I was about to settle in for a night of watching reruns of the Mecum Auto Auctions when my wife handed me a bowl with so much fruit in it that I didn't know what was in it.

"What's in it?"

"Just eat it."

"OK."

"By the way, my sister and I are going to visit Aunt Bea for Mother's Day."

Woo Hoo! I thought, nonstop golf! But I had to temper my enthusiasm. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"You mean we're not going to be together on Mother's Day? We've never been apart on Mother's Day. I'll miss you."

She laughed. "Consider this your Father's Day present."

I couldn't help it, it just slipped out: "You're right. This would be the best Father's Day present ever."

Gratefully,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What's the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty fifth wedding anniversary?"

"Morning Sickness."



A man and a woman were going at it on the sofa when the phone rang.

"Who was that?" the guy asked.

"My husband," she replied.

"Damn, I better get going then," the guy said. "Where was he when he phoned?"

"You can relax," said the woman. "He's downtown playing poker with you."




"Just in time for Mother's Day, Dove is selling body wash in six different bottles, to represent the different shapes of women's bodies. Yep, it's being called the perfect gift if you want to offend your mom." -Jimmy Fallon



A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!"

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