GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com

Monday, May 1, 2017

Good morning crew,

It rained the entire weekend, so I didn't get any painting done. On the other hand, without any work to distract us the wife and I went out two nights in a row, so now I don't have the money to buy any more paint.

Funny how life works out.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"L.A. is one of the two finalists to host the 2024 Olympics. So if you want to attend one of the events in L.A., you should get on the freeway now." -Conan O'Brien

***

"In case you weren't aware, today was Take Your Child to Work Day. It's a great way to see why Mommy and Daddy drink so much." -James Corden

***

"A third-grade class in New Jersey recently found a boa constrictor in the back of their classroom. Even scarier, they DIND'T find Billy." -Seth Meyers

***

The Down Side of Cubicles:

* Being told to "Think outside the box" when I'm in the box all day.

* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

* Lack of rafters for the noose.

* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra without comment.

* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.

* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is having sex.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 60 success is having sex.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not.

Top Viewed Issues