Monday, April 17, 2017

Good morning crew,

My wife invited her parents over to the house Sunday afternoon for Easter lunch. I'm not sure what she was expecting to happen, but she bought a ten pound ham to feed four people. And that's not counting the mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, hard-boiled eggs and cold pasta salad.

Maybe she was overcompensating for something.

Anyway, we barely made a dent in that mammoth joint. So it looks like I'm having ham for dinner the rest of the week.

Anybody have any good leftover ham recipes?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A Vatican cardinal said Jesus was the original tweeter. I don't know how popular he was. He only had 12 followers." -Conan O'Brien

***
"A company in California has started selling a new cologne that smells like whiskey. I think my dad's been wearing that cologne for 40 years." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers

***
"Are you all right?" my seatmate on the plane asked, after noticing tears roll down my cheeks.

"I'm flying my husband's ashes home for burial," I explained, "and it just struck me that this will be our last trip together."

"I know how you feel," she said. "I had my horse for 20 years and just put him to sleep last week."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.

The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned.

Susie said, "He was born in a manger."

Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."

Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."

Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"

"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"