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MOUTHPIECE - April 11, 2017

Good Afternoon,

I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. I made breakfast for myself, but I forgot to eat it. I think that the older I get the more I forget. But, I did not forget to put together another rip-roaring edition of Mouthpiece for you good folks. Please, enjoy!

I wonder what else I forgot to do? Oh, my parents are at the airport! Gotta go!

Mouthing Off,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
--Mark Twain

"Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money."
--Arthur Miller

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."
--Henry Ford

[m] What's On the Web?

Manning Face

Those Manning boys sure make some goofy faces. Check out the mugs on these future football hall of famers in numerous photos.

Visit: Manning Face

13 Bundy Facts for 'Married...With Children's' 30th Anniversary

It's the 30th anniversary of the series premiere of "Married... With Children". Enjoy some "Shoe News" or as some folks call it, "Fun Facts", about the hit FOX series.

Visit: 13 Bundy Facts for 'Married...With Children's' 30th Anniversary

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- 11 Great Puns About the Law --*

11) Lawyers wear law suits.

10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice.

9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight.

8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.

7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just cause for sour milk in a dairy case?

6) A detective likes to have a brief case.

5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail.

4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.

3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.

2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.

1) If there's one person you don't want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it's a judge.


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