THE DAILY GROANER - April 5, 2017
Good Morning Groanies,
Here's my new obsession...the HGTV program 'Tiny House Hunters'.
My wife loves the HGTV and on occasion I'll sit and watch several of the shows like House Hunters, Fixer Upper, Love It or List It, Flip or Flop, and the Property Brothers, just to name a few.
The other night I got fixated on an episode of 'Tiny House Hunters' and it made me lose my mind.
Before I get into it, I have to confess, I usually watch these shows with the best of intentions. I like noticing the unique touches and styles of homes so that one day, if my home needs improvements or upgrades, I might get a few ideas. But it usually breaks down into me just making fun of the pretension people and their bizarre choices, behavior and avoidance of any logic or reason.
Case in point, last night's episode. A pair of douchey Millennials want to live debt-free so they decide to start looking for a tiny house/trailer/camper with curb appeal. Alright!
As the show's format dictates, they look at three different, yet similar, places to reside. The couple kept saying that they wanted a small house and a minimalist lifestyle, but with every place they went, right off the bat, the lady complained that they were all too small! No shit, Sherlock! Did you forget what you wanted or what show you were on?! What a moron! Long story short, the bought a vintage camper, yes, a camper for 18K. A perfect place for these young people and their three dogs. That place is gonna smell so bad in less than a week. I don't care how much Febreeze you use.
I think what I'm getting at is...Millennials are just the worst. And I don't believe anyone would refute that.
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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- A Devil of a Deal --*
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners."
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"
*-- Got Chapped Lips --*
On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it where the sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the whole thing.
"Whudd'ya do that fer?" he asked.
"Got chapped lips," the cowboy replied.
The old man asked, "Does that help?"
The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team.
Q: What has 100 legs and 50 teeth?
A: The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.
(Q and A jokes courtesy of Paula. Thanks, Paula!)
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