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Saturday, April 1, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Houston police responding to multiple calls about a man duct-taped to a yield sign arrived to find a man who had lost a bet -- and they nearly Tased his friend.

Police responded to an intersection in northeast Houston where drivers reported seeing a man duct taped to a yield sign. They arrived to find a second man with a knife approaching the taped individual.

"Drop the knife or I'll Tase you," an officer shouted at the man.

Police soon discovered the man was actually attempting to cut down his friend, Miguel Chavez, who had been taped to the sign as punishment for losing a bet.

Chavez said he lost a bet he placed on the Houston Warriors/Golden State Warriors game.

He said his punishment was to either allow himself to be duct taped to a street sign or a car, so he decided to flip a coin.

The police helped Chavez down from the pole and gave him a ride home. No charges were filed in the incident.


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*------------------- Ass Gun -------------------*

Police officers were surprised to see a handgun fall out of a suspect's backside while being searched in jail, according to police in Alabama. Limestone County police said that they have arrested 23-year-old Jesse O'Neal Roberts, after being accused of being drunk in public. According to the police investigation, Roberts trespassed in a property on Esten Lane. The homeowner found Roberts in his garage, and held the suspect at gunpoint until police arrived. When Roberts arrived in jail, officers noticed that he was walking funny. While searching Roberts, he stumbled and the gun fell out of his backside. The gun was reported stolen from Florence. Police said that they do not know if the owner will want the gun back as it was in Roberts' backside.


*---------- She Went Out With a Bang ----------*

A Florida man was sentenced to five years in prison after his wife died in a crash while the couple was having sex while driving. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said the driver and his wife had just left a country music concert where they had been drinking. The pair was having sex when they drove into a canal. The crash left the wife dead and the driver severely injured. At the hospital, deputies confirmed he was drunk. In a police report, authorities said the driver admitted to being naked and that his wife was sitting on his lap when he drove off the end of the road and struck the opposite canal.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

In your case, Louis, your Recurring priapism would be 20 paid days off. -Colin

HELL YEAH I would take 3 extra paid days off for menstrual time. I am not the type to tell anyone about riding the cotton wave as you say, I find it a personal issue. I used to wonder why some women would take off the time every month and thought of them as babies, I mean woman up already! But if I could get time off of work, paid I would tell everyone at work! -Teri
[You're my kind of woman, Teri.]

LEWIS; Indeed the very idea of laws affecting women dealing with "that time of the month" do seem archaic and discriminatory. However just as women would object to any law or rule requiring them to "leave home or place of work and go someplace by yourself every time they get their period" us guys do not appreciate women using "that time of the month" to justify women's irrational or hostile behavior in any business or social situation. Of course they tell us guys "You just don't understand!" However still if women don't wish to be ostracized at "that time of the month" then they should stop using it as an excuse for bitchiness. -R.S.
[Ummm...I don't think there are any laws dealing with 'that time of the month', discriminatory or not.]

I guess the Muslim women won't be wearing any burkas in Winchester, Virginia.
[The law says "except for holiday costumes" so there you go.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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