GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com

Monday, March 20, 2017

Good morning crew,

Welcome to spring, folks. The bizarre winter is finally over. Now we can look forward to a bizarre summer. But if we're really lucky, we might get a month or two of real, glorious spring weather in between.

I'm not counting on it, though. It's still getting below freezing at night. That makes for a chilly spring.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"A new study reveals Americans are getting fatter and giving up on their diets. The study was conducted by going to a water park for five minutes." -Conan O'Brien

***

"Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The parents claim they give the kids coffee only when they need it, like when the kid wakes up with a hangover." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

"Technically right now is Friday, and that means today is St. Patrick's Day. I read that Americans could spend over $5 billion for St. Patrick's Day this year. Yeah, that's JUST on bail money." -James Corden

***

Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library. "You know," said Melba, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore."

"Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little humor to the occasion."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.

"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"

Top Viewed Issues