Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
An ex-employee who was angry about being fired, used his car to run over his boss, according to police in Florida.
Police said that they have arrested 52-year-old Irelio Reyes Osorio, after being accused of running his boss over with his car several times in an attempt to kill him. According to the criminal complaint, Osorio wanted to collected money for two days of work.
Osorio sent his boss numerous text messages, in which he threatened to use a weapon, a machete or a knife to kill him. At some point, the boss and Osorio agreed to meet at a coffee shop.
That was a mistake.
When they arrived, Osorio attacked his boss with a knife and began to chase him through a parking lot before cutting him in the chest and left arm.
The victim then threw a rock at Osorio, and took the knife out of his hands. Both men returned to their vehicles, but Osorio continued the attack against his employer.
Surveillance video shows Osorio ramming into his employer's truck. Osorio then drove away, dragging a fence behind his truck.
Osorio then turned around his vehicle and accelerated toward the victim. The employer managed to jump out of the way at the last moment.
In another attempt, a fence blocked the suspect from completely running over his boss. The employer was taken to a hospital, where he was treated and released.
Osorio has been charged with one count of attempted first-degree murder.
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Click http://gopherarchives.gophercentral.com
Questions? Comments? Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
*----- Lesson: Don't Nap on Railroad Tracks -----*
A Georgia teenager decided to take a rest after a leisurely afternoon walk by draping his legs over some railroad tracks, putting on his headphones and closing his eyes. The results were just as bad as you expect. He was struck by a train and lost both of his legs. Officer Andy Blimline who was the first on the scene, said that he found 17-year-old Jacob Ohl conscious despite his severe injuries. Blimline said that he soon realized that the teen's legs are no longer attached to his body. Ohl was rushed to a hospital, but doctors were unable to reattach his legs. The teenager told police that he did not intend to hurt himself when he sat down on the tracks. Ohl is a senior in high school and plays for the school orchestra jazz band. His instrument: stand-up bass.
Lesson: Drugs Are OK If You Have Upper Body Strength
A teenage boy got a break from a police officer who allowed him to do push-ups instead of going to jail, according to police in Texas. Arlington police Officer Eric Ball, gave a choice to the 17-year-old boy who was caught smoking pot, to do push-ups or go to jail for possession of marijuana. The boy choice to do push-ups. The boy was allowed to walk free after doing 200 push-ups. A passerby recorded the boy doing the push-ups, and the video was uploaded to Facebook, where it went viral. The mother of the boy, who was not identified, praised the officer for giving her teen the choice of push-ups instead of going to jail. She added that she would force her teen to do even more push-ups in order for him to learn his lesson about smoking pot in public. He should keep that shit at home like a responsible pothead.
*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
Lewis, Not did John Bobbitt get his dick sewn back on, he had a brief career in porn.
[I heard his popularity was because doctors sewed his dick on crooked and he was the only porn actor who could fuck around corners.]
Why is it always fringe lunatics like militant vegans who commit these acts of terror? You never hear about a hard core carnivore running over a roadside fruit stand or plowing through a farmer's market. Maybe if that crazy broad had a cheeseburger every now and then she'd feel a little better about herself.
Lewis, I'm sure you heard the story about the Japanese guy who got crushed to death by his porn collection was false.
[This time. You know that story is going to come true sooner or later.]
*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*