Monday, March 6, 2017

Good morning crew,

Winter continues here in the Chicagoland and greater tri-state area with a cloudy 56 degrees F.

This bizarre winter is making me nervous about what kind of spring we're going to have.

Either we're going to have 90 degrees in spring or it's going to be snowstorms in April.

Only 13 days until spring.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Snapchat's IPO launched on the stock market yesterday. Or, to put it another way, something that your parents don't understand just launched on something YOU don't understand." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"In the U.K., a group of scientists successfully taught bumblebees how to play soccer. And now, they're trying to get American bumblebees to watch it." -Conan O-Brien

***
"A 100-year-old Dutch woman recently persuaded local police to arrest her to fulfill an item on her bucket list. Cool story for her, not so much for the victims of her double homicide." -Seth Meyers

***
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?"

The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."

"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?"

"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear."

"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"

"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars."

"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"

"Well, this week...nothing!"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My children have never been thrilled about taking naps, but one day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual. In the middle of the tantrums, a friend called.

"What's all the commotion over there?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing," I said. "Just the siesta resistance."