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Friday, March 3, 2017

Good morning crew,

I was talking with my brother Nino earlier today and he was telling me about the difficulties he and his wife are having selling their house. They are looking to downsize to a townhome, but this will be the second year they have had their house on the market.

I don't think it cheered him up when I told him it took me three years to sell the condo.

Of course, while selling a property can be a lengthy process, at least it's not terribly stressful. All you have to do is keep it relatively clean for showings, and then your realtor does all the work.

The real stress kicks in when you're trying to buy a property. I nearly had a brain aneurysm when the wife and I were trying to buy a house two-and-a-half years ago. I can't even think about it too long or I start to get a touch of post traumatic stress.

It's not quite so bad if you're not on a schedule. For example, if you're living in an apartment, or somebody else's house, and you have to luxury to buy or not to buy. But when you have to time a purchase in coordination with the sale of a property you're living in, it turns into a real circus.

I dug up an account of one such attempt from the archive page if you'd like to read a little of what we went through.

Click: Talk about a stressful weekend

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Chocolate maker Hershey is reportedly expecting to cut its global workforce by about 15 percent. That's right, for the first time ever, chocolate is giving up people for Lent." -Seth Meyers

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"Scientists have found a way to grow human tissue on apples. Now the only thing left for them to discover is a REASON to grow human tissue on apples." -Conan O-Brien

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"Papa John's is testing a new system that lets customers pay $3 to skip the line and get faster pizza delivery. And for $6, Peyton Manning will throw the pizza at you from a speeding car." -Jimmy Fallon

***

There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone came to the farm and asked the farmer, "What do you use to feed your pigs?"

"Well, I give them acorn, corn, vegetable scraps and things like that. Why?"

"Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don't feed them like you should, they shouldn't eat wastes." Then he fined the farmer.

Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question. The farmer answered, "Well, I feed them very well. I give them fish, whole grains, hot corn mash and as much fresh fruit and vegetables as I can get my hands on. Why?"

"Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it's unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat." And he fined the farmer.

Finally, another man came in and asked the same question.

The hesitant farmer answered after a minute of careful thought: "Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever it is they want."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. The people who produce the bottles. The truck drivers who deliver the beer and the retailers who sell it.

If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

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