THE DAILY GROANER - March 1, 2017
Good Morning Groanies,
Here's a random thought...Whomever, whoever, or whatever originally uttered the phrase "fight fire with fire" was probably a pyromaniac.
Think about it.
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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- One Liners --*
* Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.
* NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?
* Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
* The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee.
* My husband has suggested a candlelight dinner at home for our anniversary. Is he being romantic or just cheap?
* A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken.
* There are two types of roads in our country. One is under construction and the other is under repair.
* When you get older, lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
* What will today's younger generation tell their children they had to do "without"?
* People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public.
* Hermits have no peer pressure.
* Never trust a story that has been told more than twice.
* If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.
*-- Bread Pick Up Lines --*
I could rack my grain and I still wouldn't be able to think of a prettier girl than you.
Is your dad a baker? Because your buns are fantastic.
I love you like a hot stove baby!
I'll put a bun in your oven!
They call me Yeast, and I can get a rise out of you yet!
You know, when stuck in a jam, you're the bun I want to be with!
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A: Honey, I'm home!
Q: What is the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle!
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