Monday, February 27, 2017
Good morning crew,
I received several emails along the lines of the following;
Dear CL Joe,
Are you wondering if we read what you send? We do! I know you meant sentimental reasons, not sedimentary reasons. I bet I'm not the only one who emailed.
Love your emails.
I'd like to thank everywon for there notes. However, you should know that I am a craftsman. I chews every word I publish carefully. I used the word 'sedimentary' because I must have rocks in my head for paying that kind of money for a 50 cent repair I should have done myself at home.
Laugh it up,
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"Nintendo is releasing a video game that lets you simulate taking care of a baby. When they heard this, gamers said, 'Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one.'" -Conan O'Brien
"Today was International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. There's a party later tonight, but I heard it's going to be a real snausage fest." -Seth Meyers
"A new study found that most people cant go 10 minutes without lying. But since the study took 20 minutes nobody knows what to believe." -Jimmy Fallon
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 50s, 60s and 70s!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A wife asked her husband, "Honey, could you please run to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen."
A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk cartons.
Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife asked, "Why the hell did you buy so much milk?"
Her husband said, "They had eggs."