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Saturday, February 25, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A bank robber failed to get any money from a teller after a security guard realized that she was using a large water gun as her weapon, according to police in Texas.

Amarillo police said that they have arrested 31-year-old Lashondra Deniece Sandoval-Martin, after being accused of stealing a pickup truck and holding up National Bank.

According to the criminal complaint, Sandoval-Martin stole the pickup truck that a worker left running with the keys in the ignition, then drove it to the National Bank located. She walked into an area that is restricted to the public and pointed her water gun at a teller, demanding cash.

When a security guard walked into the room, Sandoval-Martin pointed the water gun at him. That is when the security realized that she was holding a large water gun.

He attempted to detain her, but she managed to break free and ran out of the bank.

Sandoval-Martin was later apprehended and charged with aggravated robbery and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.


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The Devil (or a shitload of drugs) Made Me Do It

A Stamford, Connecticut chapel was the site of a bizarre crime this week, when police said a naked woman broke through a window and started smashing down doors and walls. "Yesterday was my first anniversary here!" said the Rev. Carlos Rodrigues, "What a gift, right?" The naked woman was seen wildly swinging a fire extinguisher in the basement chapel of the Rectory of the church of St. Clement. "She was like a human tornado - just ripped through the place very fast!" Rodrigues said. Stamford police said Celina Kelly, 32, was high on drugs when she broke a window to gain access to the chapel. Marks were left on the door, which police said she broke down with the fire extinguisher. Kelly went on to kick and punch holes in the drywall of the boiler room behind the chapel, police said. Rodrigues said the suspect was apparently looking for something. "A bomb - she kept saying: 'Where the F is the bomb? The bomb, the bomb!'" he said. As luck would have it, a Stamford police officer drove through the church parking lot on routine targeted patrol just as it all unfolded. Police said Kelly has no fixed address. She is charged with burglary and criminal mischief.


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Brooksville, Florida police arrested a man they say was swinging swords at customers in Walmart on Broad Street. The responding officers were called by the store's manager, who said someone was threatening customers in the parking lot. When they got there, they found Shannon Schenck carrying two swords and appearing to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the police department said. Several witnesses told officers Schenck had "assumed a fighting stance and unsheathed the swords in a threatening manner while approaching customers exiting their vehicles." Officers also found less than 20 grams of marijuana on Schenck, as well as a glass pipe with marijuana residue.

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Wow. Where *did* those women get the balls for to bring horse parts into the U.S. unattached to a horse? -Lily

Hi Lewis, You can tell the guy who didn't have sex with is now pregnant girlfriend that such an occurrence is known as a 'Grudge' pregnancy. That's when someone has it in for you. -Richard

Just think, in the south they're still eating squirrels while the rest of the country is turning them into pets. Who's more ass backwards?

Who would have thought it? If you run around the streets in your underwear for charity they call it "Cupid's Undie Run" but if you do it at 2 in the morning in the middle of a residential neighborhood it's called "Drunk and disorderly." Double standard.

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