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Thursday, February 23, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Here's a fun story: A student activist group at the University of Michigan is demanding campus officials provide them with "a permanent designated space on central campus for Black students and students of color." This comes from a student activist group called Students4Justice.

On the face of it this may sound ridiculous, stupid, retarded, back-assward, ignorant, regressive, counterproductive, rash, ill-considered, harebrained, xenophobic, and even downright racist, but when you apply a certain kind of logic to it, the idea isn't quite so batshit insane.

I mean, I can understand certain groups of people feeling uncomfortable around certain other groups of people. Personally, I'm a little creeped out by French Canadians. So I get it. How can you truly be yourself, truly express yourself, when you constantly have to worry about how you are judged by different people of different races and cultures?

But just having a student center might not be enough. I have heard the idea of segregated housing being floated before. That, I think, is the right track. But why have segregated housing when you can have an entirely segregated school? And as anyone who has lived in a college town knows, the town is more or less dependent on the school for its survival, so why not completely segregated communities? Think of the lack of judgment? The lack of fear? Of recrimination? Think of the freedom to finally, truly be oneself?

Now here is where we need to take a leap. What if we just ran with this idea an applied it to entire economic and social systems? At that point we would be talking about large groups of people who would need large areas to live and thrive in.

And since there will be nothing but a bunch of cunts who don't want to have anything to do with anybody else living in these large geographic areas, we could call them countries.

I know. Brilliant, right?



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A young man went up to his father and asked him, "Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?"

His father said, "I don't know. Are you any good?"

A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.

Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, "Congratulations, your wife has had quadruplets, four big, healthy, baby boys."

The redneck said proudly, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney."

The nurse replied, "Well, you might want to consider getting it cleaned. They're all black."

Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut these days. But then again, very few people cut their own hair either.

Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him.

This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in--late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again!"

So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in.

Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a bang and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the carpet with his foot and said, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, did ya?"

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