Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Good morning crew,
I think parenting has changed, and I'll tell you what I mean. I was teaching two little kids the other day at the school. Both white belts, brother and sister actually, ages four and six.
Now, it is a martial arts school, so a little bit of yelling is expected, but as the minutes trickled past and they began to get distracted, my volume increased. It is one of the few ways I can keep their attention.
They were having a difficult time executing the combination of moves I was trying to teach them, and they were getting frustrated with the repetition. I have to admit, I was too.
Eventually, after the tenth or twelfth time I showed them the combination and they were still unable to repeat it, I grabbed a kicking target and smacked it down on the mat right at their feet with a gunshot-like crack.
They jumped and I started chasing them around in a circle while we all screamed like a maniacs. Eventually I got them to settle down again and we were able to finish the class.
After class was over their mother, who was watching the whole episode, walked up to me. I really thought I was going to get a complaint for treating her kids a little too harshly, but she said, "You know, you're such a good teacher. You really seem to have a way with kids!"
What the hell is she doing at home that makes it seem like I really have a way with her kids?
Laugh it up,
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"Astronomers say they now know the approximate weight of the Milky Way. They found this out by adding 10 pounds to the Milky Way's weight on its Tinder profile." -Conan O'Brien
"A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony." -Jimmy Fallon
"A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine's Day gifts. A good way to tell that you've lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine's Day gift." --Jimmy Kimmel
Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls.
"Your wife must love these rolls," he said.
"How do you know these are for my wife?" I asked.
"Because I'm pretty sure your mother would send you out in weather like this."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy, stupid and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?"