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Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A man is happy that his furry friend protected his home from a thief.

Adam Pearl of Idaho, said that he came home to find footprints in the snow, leading to the back of his home.

He said that this was strange as nobody goes to the back of his home. However, when he went into his home, he found that things were out of place and that doors have been left open.

He then checked his gun safe and found that it had been tampered with, but the safe was still locked and the guns were inside.

He called the Meridian Police, and he filed a report. While the officer wrote up the report, Pearl said that she was startled by a noise in the home.

Pearl told the female officer that the noise came from his pet squirrel named Joey.

The officer asked if the squirrel bites people and Pearl responded that he does not.

Later, Pearl got a call from the officer who informed him that they had the suspect in custody.

The officer said that the suspect had scratch marks and when she asked if he get that from the squirrel, the suspect replied: "Yes, that thing kept attacking me and wouldn't stop until I left," according to Pearl.


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*-------- The Records Continue to Fall --------*

A Mexican woman born without arms broke a world record for lighting candles with her feet on an Italian game show. Adriana Irene Macias Hernandez used her feet to light 11 candles and claim the Guinness World Record for "Most birthday candles lit with the feet in one minute" in front of the audience of Italy's Lo Show dei Record. The previous record of seven was set by American Ashrita Furman, who holds multiple world records. Hernandez became proficient at completing tasks with her feet after she was born without arms. In addition to breaking the record, Hernandez graduated with a law degree, has written multiple books and travels around the world to deliver lectures about her disability.


*-------------- No Pants Allowed --------------*

Runners in 37 U.S. cities and 12 Australian cities stripped down to their skivvies to run through the streets and raise money for cancer research. Cupid's Undie Run, an annual event timed to coincide with Valentine's Day, took place Saturday afternoon in U.S. cities including New York, Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, Salt Lake City, Dallas, Houston, Los Angeles, Nashville, Philadelphia, and Oklahoma City. Twelve Australian cities, including Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Canberra, also participated in the underwear run. The event featured participants in their underwear running a mile to raise money for the Children's Tumor Foundation. Organizers did not yet offer numbers for the event, but last year's undie run raised more than $3.5 million for neurofibromatosis research. "Why do we run with our butts out? It's simple. We run in our undies because people with NF can't cover up their tumors. They can't put clothes on to feel more comfortable, so why should we?" the event's official website explains.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Hey Lewis; if any women want to eat horse-sized genitals they don't have to smuggle it in from Mongolia...
[Uh, I censored the rest of this comment (because it was gross), and I got two more very similar to it. Honestly, I thought I had better subscribers than that.]

Lewis, I didn't understand the Spider-Boy story. What does, "ran his legs around his own body 38 times..." mean?
[It tell you the truth I'm not 100 percent sure, but it does sound bizarre, doesn't it?]

Lewis, I've been dating this woman for about two months, but we have never had sex (some pretty heavy foreplay, but no penetration). The other day she told me she's pregnant. Do you think I could be going out with the future mother of the second coming of Christ?
[Well, somebody's come at least once, I can promise you that much.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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