GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com
THE DAILY GROANER - February 13, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,


Valentine's Day is tomorrow and if you're still scratching your head about what to get your special someone, I'm here to help. What? I like to help.

Here are a few suggestions that will surely make your Valentine's Day the best one yet. Give your Valentine some roses, a sweet meaningful card, a flower arrangement, candy, chocolates, balloons, handcuffs, whips, chains, a romantic dinner, a dominatrix, chaps, a can of whipped cream, expensive jewelry, an exotic getaway, a "freaky" massage, manicure, pedicure, a "super-freaky" massage, a day at the spa, perfume, a shopping spree, key party at the hot neighbors house, an engagement ring, or a cuddle teddy bear.

I hope this helps you have a Happy Valentine's Day. And if it doesn't... you should have planned ahead or not went the "super-freaky" route. I can only do so much.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- It's Getting Big, Doc --*

Patient: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.

Doctor: You should diet.

Patient: Really? What color?



*-- To Tell the Truth --*

A lawyer was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.

"You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?"

The client replied that he did.

Then lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?"

The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What's the difference between pink and purple?

A: The grip


Q: What's the difference between OOOO and AAHHHHH?

A: 3 inches

(Jokes courtesy of DRUMNCHIEF)


Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

A: The taste.

(Joke courtesy of Brian L.)

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives

Top Viewed Issues