Thursday, February 9, 2017
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I just read an article about a new study in the journal 'Child Development' which shows how yelling, hitting and using verbal and physical threats as punishment could negatively impact a child's ability to succeed in high school and college.
This supports previous research which showed how hitting children can lead them to be more aggressive and to suffer from mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
I'm sure the egg heads who did this research have all sorts of data to support these conclusions, and dozens of case studies of poor, corporally punished children who grew up to be muggers, dog thieves and insurance salesmen. But I think there is also a case to be made for measured, conscientious and compassionate physical violence toward children.
I mean how else are you going to teach them right from wrong and really make it stick? Say you have a six-year-old who likes to push little girls down on the playground. Which is better going to teach that behavior is wrong; ten minutes sitting by himself or a good working over with a telephone cord?
I remember the first time my dad caught me smoking, he looked me right in the eye and told me if he ever caught me smoking again he would break my arms.
That's the kind of love that 'time outs' just can't convey.
Of course, it didn't really work on me. I smoked cigars almost daily up until about ten years ago (but he never caught me again, I'll tell you that much). So I guess there really is some credibility to not beating your kids.
But on the other hand, kids are going to be kids and sometimes you just fucking have to.
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"According to a recent survey, 71 percent of men find it attractive when a woman offers to split the bill on a date. And zero percent of women find it attractive when that offer is accepted." -Seth Meyers
Did you know that in the human body, there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
"Kylie Minogue won a legal battle against Kylie Jenner over the trademark of the name 'Kylie.' Yeah, the judge called the case 'not why I went to law school.'" -Jimmy Fallon
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers, "Yes."
After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."