Thursday, February 2, 2017
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I have been watching a lot of news lately (because apparently looking at Internet porn at eleven o'clock in the morning at the office is 'frowned upon') and I have noticed something interesting about all of these riots, protests and demonstrations.
Trump supporters are usually wearing something that clearly identifies them as a Trump supporter; a Trump t-shirt, or pin, or one of those ridiculous MAGA hats.
Trump protestors, on the other hand, are frequently disguised. In practically every protest I see a number of people wearing ski masks or handkerchiefs wrapped around their faces.
Not all of the protesters, mind you, but there are some in every single protest.
I figure there are two reasons; 1) they are embarrassed to be out there making assholes out of themselves, or 2) they are planning to commit a crime.
Based upon all of the fires, broken glass and vandalism I have been seeing, I'm guessing it's more number 2.
I wonder why all of the 'peaceful' protesters aren't pulling the masks off of these anarchists? If you were surrounded by cameras and standing right next to someone committing a crime, wouldn't you make at least the tiniest effort to identify that person?
I think there is a word for that. It's called complicity.
I wonder how they would act if somebody in a mask were standing on their front lawn and throwing a brick through their front window or car windshield?
I was particularly amused by a riot I saw today on a college campus. The morons destroyed their own student center (or was it an auditorium). And why not? They don't have to clean it up.
Wouldn't you love to see a bunch of clueless 19 and 20 year old kids trying to install plate glass windows and repainting fire-damaged walls?
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A relationship is like a house. If a light bulb goes out, you don't buy a new house. You fix the light bulb. Unless, of course, that house is a lying whore. In that case you burn that fucker down and buy a better house with good light bulbs.
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
I explained to the proctologist that my wife and I were making love on the couch and the channel changer just got in the way, but he said the odds were pretty remote.
A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
'All these years, everything has been working just fine... I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.'
The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.'
She took a moment and said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.'