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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It seems like I run across one of these stories every couple of months, but apparently the crooks never learn!

Police in California arrested an alleged bad-luck burglar who ended up trapped inside a home's chimney and abandoned by his accomplices.

The Ridgecrest Police Department said officers were dispatched to a home Sunday on a report of a triggered burglary alarm, and police received a phone call moments later from a woman who reported her friend was trapped in a chimney at the same address where the alarm was triggered.

Officers arrived on the scene and discovered Keith Schultz, 28, trapped in the chimney. They said the woman who called police was gone by the time they arrived.

Police said Schultz apparently became trapped in the chimney while trying to break into the residence. Investigators found signs of forced entry and an open back door, indicating Schultz' accomplices broke into the home in an attempt to free him from the chimney, but they were unsuccessful.

The soot-covered suspect was rescued from the chimney by firefighters and booked on a charge of burglary.


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*---------- Stupid Is As Stupid Does ----------*

Sometimes you have to own up to being an idiot. Take the example of Sheriff's deputy Adam J. Brown. Brown was a resource officer for a school in Auburn, Michigan. Last year he brought a firearm to the school so a teacher in the school's robotics lab could test the trigger pull on the classroom's force machine. That experiment went uneventfully. But then Brown returned alone later in the day and tried the experiment with a different firearm. This one he accidentally left loaded. When the firearm discharged it passed through a wall and injured a teacher in the next classroom. Now, instead of admitting a stupid mistake Brown tried to cover the accident up, claiming he did not fire the gun and intentionally throwing the bullet away. Unfortunately for him, the bullet was found. Now, instead of a misdemeanor charge of careless discharge of a firearm, Brown is ALSO charged with a felony count of tampering with evidence; a four-year offense. Probably should have just owned up to the 90-day misdemeanor.


*--- Kind of Sounds Like My Workout Routine ---*

Security cameras at a Tennessee gym were recording when a deer crashed through a window and ran a few laps before locking itself in the women's bathroom. The footage recorded Saturday at Quik Fit in Greenbrier shows the buck running around the facility after it and two other deer rammed the gym's storefront windows. The deer eventually runs into the women's restroom, knocking the door closed behind itself. "He got his cardio in," gym owner Eric Lee Beddingfield said. "Thank God he stayed off the treadmill." Greenbrier police and officers from the Department of National Resources caught the deer in the bathroom and dragged it out of the gym's back door.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

That nude restaurant in Spain sounds like the perfect place to enjoy a meal without utensils!
[Eat a lot of donuts, onion rings and bagels, do you?]

Lewis, This is the same way Dorothy got to the Land of Oz, flying through the air in a bathtub on the winds of a tornado. So did this women get to Oz, or did she click her heels together and say 'There's no place like home? Always look forward to your very interesting column. -Tom Smith
[Eh. Oz, Texas, how much of a difference is there, really?]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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