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Monday, January 30, 2017

Good morning crew,

I saw a fascinating video today. It's all about how depression can be caused by a lack of niacin, tryptophan and vitamin C. So I went online to find out a little more about niacin. It turns out that like with most essential, natural supplements, niacin can be found in a variety of natural foods, almost none of which is cheeseburgers.

But one surprising (or not so surprising, if you think about it) inclusion on the list is an item that has almost as much niacin per serving as liver or kidneys. Beer! 6 mg per pint.


So which would you rather have when you're feeling down; a big ol' plate of kidneys or a couple ice cold beers?

Laugh it up,


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"Engineers have begun trying to find a way to brew beer on the moon. Which means we'll soon have astronauts calling into Mission Control saying, 'Houston, we have a drinking problem.'" -Conan O'Brien


"According to a new report, 67 percent of millennials use Netflix, which must really tick off whoever owns the account they're using." -Seth Meyers


"Wildlife officials in India are now putting wild monkeys on birth control to help curb the recent population spike. This is good for wildlife, and even better for female monkeys who want to focus on their careers." -Jimmy Fallon


The heaviest element known to science is Managerium.

This element has no protons or electrons, but has a nucleus made up of 1 neutron, 2 vice-neutrons, 5 junior vice-neutrons, 25 assistant vice-neutrons, and 125 junior assistant vice-neutrons all going round in circles.

Managerium has a half-life of three years, at which time it does not decay but institutes a series of reviews leading to reorganization.

Its molecules are held together by means of the exchange of tiny particles known as morons.

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

You know how in first grade they used fruits to explain stuff like "one banana plus two bananas make three bananas"? Here's a list of high school math courses based on bananas:

Algebra I - A
You have a negative banana (possibly made of antimatter). Add two bananas to it and you get one banana.

Algebra I - B
You have a banana. Factor it, or solve for apples using the quadratic formula.

Prove: Bananas are not vegetables. Given: Bananas are fruits.

Algebra II
You have an imaginary banana. Square it, and you get one of those weird anti-matter bananas. The student learns that their dreams will become reality if they only raise them to the fourth power.

What is the cosecant of Pi over 2 bananas in a unit apple?

Calculus AB
The student learns to find the slope of a banana.

Calculus BC
The student learns to find the slope of a banana and also to find the area under the banana.

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