Friday, January 27, 2017
Good morning crew,
A coworker walked up to me in the office kitchen this morning and asked, "How's it going today?"
"Every day's an adventure," I told him as I poured a cup of coffee. "Just living life on the edge."
"Laughing in the face of death, huh?"
"Well, laughing in the face of debt, anyway."
Laugh it up,
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"A man and his 75-year-old mom survived being lifted out of their home during a tornado by sitting together in a bathtub. The man said the tornado didn't traumatize him but being in a bathtub with his mother did." -Conan O'Brien
"I've been trying to say 'I love you' more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable." -Stephen Colbert
"According to a recent study, men on dating sites are more popular if they mention dancing or cooking. Because if there's one thing women love, it's a man who can lie." -Seth Meyers
When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:
"Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'"
One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
[Thanks to Clean Laffs reader Blaine Owens for this one.]
A co-worker came to work one day wearing shoes that were identical in style, only one was black and the other brown. I quietly pointed this out to him. He smiled and said, "Unusual, aren't they? Believe it or not, I've got another pair just like this at home."