Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Good morning crew,

I think I have found a hole in the English language.

The word 'depute' means to appoint or instruct to perform a task or duty. It's a verb that means to delegate or assign.

That is where we get the word 'deputy'. That is someone who is deputized. Think of it like an appointee or assignee, except with a 'y' instead of two 'e's.

Now, if there is a deput-ee, you would think there should be a depu-tor. Someone who is authorized or mandated to depute. There is an assignor, but the word 'deputor' doesn't exist, as far as I can find (with the understanding that I didn't look very hard).

You would think that would be an important word.

Now here's the fun part; the suffix 'tor' comes from Latin and designates a masculine agent noun. Think; dictator, executor, orator, benefactor, etc.

But if there is a masculine, there must be a feminine. And that suffix is 'trix'.

So a female deputor would be a deputrix!

How's that for a fun word?

I think we would start a petition. That word should definitely be a part of the English language.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A Russian billionaire reportedly paid over $4 million to have Mariah Carey and Sir Elton John perform at his teenage granddaughter's wedding. Said his teenage granddaughter, 'Who are these people?'" -Seth Meyers

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"Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The parents claim they give the kids coffee only when they need it, like when the kid wakes up with a hangover." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Apple has changed back their design of the peach emoji to look more like a butt after people were upset the new design no longer looked like a butt. So you see, people - sometimes democracy DOES work!" -Conan O'Brien

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Marriage Definitions

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Caller: 'Hi, can you connect me with Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of your user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'