Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Good morning crew,

By the way, the wife did make me my breakfast casserole last weekend (perhaps due to a little public brow-beating) and it was delicious. Unfortunately the recipe makes 8-10 servings so we're still eating it. And after four days even sausage, eggs and biscuits gets a little old.

To break up the monotony Monday she decided to try out a crock pot recipe she found. I was a little curious when she brought home an entire shopping bag full of groceries, but my curiosity was satisfied when I got home Monday night and found a good two-and-a-half gallons of stew bubbling away in the crock pot.

The woman does not know how to go small (or divide by 2).

No criticism to her creativity. The stew is very good. I just don't know how I'll feel about it when we're still eating it Friday night. At least hopefully by then the quiche will be gone.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"I read about a man in Virginia who paid the DMV his $3,000 fine in pennies. It took the workers 12 hours to count them all. And that line still moved faster than the one you were in waiting in at the DMV." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is officially shutting down. Now, the circus won't officially close until May, so if you don't get a chance to see it, you had 150 years. No one feels bad for you." -Stephen Colbert

***
"There's a new app out there that describes itself as Tinder for adopting babies. So one day, siblings will be taunting each other with, 'Ha ha, mom right-swiped you. You shouldn't be here.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog Skipper had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"