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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Good morning crew,

I was surfing around this morning (while I was supposed to be working) and found a delicious-sounding recipe for something called a breakfast casserole. So I sent it to the wife and wrote, "How about making this for me Saturday morning."

She wrote back and told me she has to teach her women's cardio-taekwondo-and-dance-party class Saturday morning.

I told her, so what?

To which she said she wouldn't have time to shop and prepare everything to make a breakfast casserole. She followed that up with, "Just pick up all of the ingredients and have them ready for me on the counter when I get home."

So I asked her, "And what are you going to do, turn the knob on the oven?"

She responded, "Hey, you asked me to 'make' you breakfast. Be careful what you ask for."

Laugh it up,


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"Later this month, Google will be testing its new self-driving minivans. The vehicles can do all the functions of a human driver, except wonder, 'Christ, how did I end up driving a minivan?'" -Conan O'Brien


"More than 60 cities around the world celebrated the 16th annual No Pants Subway Ride yesterday. Or as that one guy on your train calls it, 'Sunday.'" -Seth Meyers


"In Las Vegas, the Consumer Electronics Show is going on. It displays new technology that makes you already hate the TV you bought two weeks ago for Christmas." -Jimmy Kimmel


Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.

As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.

"Not really," Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a little pot."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Metric Conversion Chart

10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone
10 cards = 1 decacards
10 rations = 1 decoration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
8 nickles = 2 paradigms
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 monologs = 5 dialogues
2 monograms = 1 diagram
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise

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