Monday, December 26, 2016
Good morning crew,
Welcome back, folks. I hope everybody is enjoying their long weekend (I assume you all have today off like me). Don't worry, this is just a little breather before the next big plunge into the New Year's weekend. That's when the real fun starts because there is no gift buying or exchanging pressure. Just partying.
Laugh it up,
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
"More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it's due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30." -Jimmy Fallon
"According to a recent study, Pokemon go players have collectively walked 5.7 billion miles while using the app. They've walked everywhere except into a job interview." -Seth Meyers
"Today, Queen Elizabeth stepped down as the patron of children's charities. The queen said, 'I just realized I really hate kids.'" -Conan O'Brien
I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus.
Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I think I've figured something out about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?"
He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man picks up his golf-ignorant girlfriend after he has come from the links. While he's driving the tees in his pocket fall out. His girlfriend asks, "Harry, what are those things that just fell out of your pockets?"
"Oh, those are called tees. I put my balls on them when I'm driving."
"Oh, well. Ask a silly question, get a silly answer."