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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

When God made man in his own image, he loved him above all else in creation. So why should it be a surprise that when man (or woman, in this case), created something in her own image, she fell in love with it?

A French woman has finally solved all of the problems with relationships by taking the human factor out of it. In fact, she has revealed that she is in love with a robot and she plans to marry it.

Lilly's "partner" is a robot called InMoovator, which she created herself with the help of a 3D-printer and she has been living with for a year.

On her Twitter page, where she calls herself "a proud robosexual."

Now, Lilly is reportedly engaged to the robot and says they will marry when human-robot marriage is legalized in France.

Lilly said she realized she was sexually attracted to robots at the age of 19 because she dislikes physical contact with people.

She insisted the idea is not 'ridiculous' or 'bad' but simply an alternative lifestyle.

The best part about a robot husband, other than the fact that he never leaves the toilet seat up, are all of the attachments you can equip him with.

On the other hand, with a female robot she has to use an iPad once a month.


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*------ The Ol 'I'm a Porn Producer' Line ------*

Apparently the ol' "I'm a porn producer, why don't you take your clothes off for some naked pictures?" line still works in Washington. Washington State Attorney General Bob Ferguson has filed a consumer complaint against a man who allegedly carried out a scheme in which he posed as a woman and claimed to run a Seattle talent agency that could connect women to high-paying jobs in the adult entertainment industry. Hickey posed as a woman named Deja Stwalley, contacting women via social media sites and claiming to run a talent recruiting company. Instead, Hickey allegedly convinced his victims to pose for nude photos and have sex with him as part of a phony "audition" process. The complaint asks the court to order Hickey to stop his deceptive practices, provide restitution to victims, and impose civil penalties of up to $2,000 per violation.


*----- Krampus is Alive and Well in Indiana -----*

An Indiana woman has been charged with two felonies, after she allegedly beat her two sons for opening their Christmas gifts early. According to court documents, 36-year-old Sascha Collins, of Greenfield, admitted she lost it when her 7- and 9-year-old sons found Christmas presents hidden in her closet and opened them. Collins has been charged with two counts of battery for allegedly slamming the boys into walls and whipping them with a belt. She allegedly admitted "there is no excuse for it." Her teenage daughter turned her in after coming home to find her brothers crying, and noticing marks on their bodies. Prosecutors said the daughter claimed Collins had been drinking and snorted a hydrocodone pill the night before the incident.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Lewis, in reference to the female who stole the baby from the Nativity scene. I was wondering if she had gotten the idea from an episode of Dragnet 1967 where a kid takes the baby from the Nativity scene of a local church to give it the first ride in his new wagon? -Steve
[Oh yeah, I'm sure. 1960s Dragnet is a real cultural touchstone in the 2000s.]

Lewis, I've been a reader of yours for years. I enjoy the slices of bizarre and your comments. The emails never fail to make my day more interesting. Thank you for the smiles and the smh's and wth's. I hope you and those you hold dear have a wonderful Christmas and a healthy and prosperous new year. Best, Diane

Lewis, I wonder if the owner of the "frozen" mannequin in Hudson NY was a CPR instructor? More likely someone that likes to drive in the car-pool lane without getting caught. Keep up the Phunny work, and Merry Christmas! -Garry

Hey Lewis--I really look forward to getting your newsletters as I laugh like hell at the seriously mentally ill persons that this world has ! Not only a good belly laugh but also a check on my own mental health. I shout with joy-BUZZY,YOU'RE BRILLANT AFTER ALL! Happy Holidays.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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