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Saturday, December 17, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

An armed robber at an adult store in California fled empty-handed when the shop's two female employees pelted him with sex toys.

The incident, which was recorded by security cameras, began when a man with his face covered walked into Lotions & Lace in San Bernardino and brandished a gun.

"With the gun, he walked in. I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us," a store employee identified only as Amy told local news. "But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don't have time for this."

Amy said she believed the gun to be fake so she started yelling at the man, who eventually grabbed her. The second employee, who did not want to be named, then started throwing sex toys at the robber.

The man fled the store empty-handed.

"I think he was a coward," the second employee said. "Coming in and trying to get over on two females and not realizing that were pretty feisty."

The store congratulated the two workers. "Do you recognize this man? Attempted robbery at the San Bernardino Lotions & Lace on Wednesday night. We are happy our ladies are safe... but they sure are tough!"

San Bernardino police said they are working to identify the suspect, whose uncovered face was photographed by an outside security camera.

Police said they generally don't recommend confronting armed robbers.


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*--- Meat and Potato Pie Launched into Space ---*

A group of pie enthusiasts in England sent a meat and potato pie into space in advance of the World Pie Eating Championship. The pie was lifted into the stratosphere outside of Fifteens at the Fox pub in Wigan by a helium-filled weather balloon with a specially rigged camera attached and floated in the air for about two hours. Fifteens at the Fox owner Tony Callaghan told the Manchester Evening News they planned to see if the change in atmosphere would make the pie easier to consume for contestants in the World Pie Eating Championships 2016. "We are continually questing to go where mankind has never gone before - sub-16 seconds consumption of a regulation pie," Callaghan said. "We are aware that scientists have been experimenting with plants on the International Space Station to see if their molecular structure changes, so we are experimenting with pies to see if the structure changes with space travel and allows the pie to be eaten quicker."


*--- Family Expecting Toy Gets Rifle Instead ---*

A couple in Long Island were horrified to find an assault rifle inside a package they thought contained a child's toy. Joel Berman, 60, opened the UPS package in front of his wife and 6-year-old granddaughter expecting a Fisher-Price toy airplane but instead found an assault rifle and other related items. The package contained a Barrett 50-caliber sniper rifle with a "rather sophisticated" scope, stand, ammo clip and copies of an Arizona man's driver's license and concealed-weapons permit. "It was not the little Fisher-Price toy we had expected," Berman said. Berman and his wife had unknowingly driven around with the weapon in the trunk of their car, believing it was a toy they had purchased for a friend's child, and he was concerned about the potential negative outcomes of such a mistake. "What if it went to someone who was having ill intentions, and thought this was the greatest opportunity to get a weapon like this?" Berman said.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Not just no! Hell no! Who, in their right mind, would want hanging balls? It's uncomfortable when you're on the crapper and they're hanging in the cold toilet water. Nasty too since they're in the same water you've just shit in. Now you have to clean them off before you are done. Bear

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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