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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Good morning crew,

The weather has become right and proper wintery around here, and it isn't even winter yet. It is barely 20 today and it will be minus 2 tonight. The rest of the week doesn't look much better.

That's global warming for you.

Only 96 days until spring.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat." -Conan O'Brien

***

"The mayor of Boston actually had to issue a statement yesterday telling residents to stop jumping from their second-story windows and rooftops into giant piles of snow. Do NOT do that at home...unless you have a camera ready." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"United Airlines just announced a new plan where you will have to pay to store a carry-on in the overhead bin. What's next? 'In case of a water landing, your seat can be used as a flotation device for only $129. Major credit cards accepted.'" -James Corden

***

My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, "Get me out!"

"Don't worry," David replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody."

"They did," said the voice.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

While watching my grandson's baseball game, I saw a young mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes.

She was talking with another mom about an incident that happened earlier that morning.

Her little Chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people's eyes as she walked into the vet's office with her dog in her arms and her child on a leash.

All I could think was, "What's wrong with this picture!"