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Saturday, November 19, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It's nice to know the U.S. doesn't have a monopoly on stupid assholes.

A man in Canada, was jailed and he received a large fine for calling in a bomb threat to a Walmart store.

19-year-old Logan Richard Arsenault of Charlottetown, wanted to be a good boyfriend and give his girlfriend a break from work so he called in a bomb threat.

The teenager went to a pay phone in Stratford, and called in the bomb threat. His plan worked as all the shoppers and employees of Walmart were evacuated.

The store remained closed for six hours, as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) explosives unit and firefighters searched the store.

As a result of the closure, Walmart suffered loss of business in the amount of approximately $100,000.

Arsenault was arrested, and he pleaded guilty to calling in the bomb threat. Chief Judge Nancy Orr in the provincial court ordered him to pay Walmart $89,100 in restitution.

Something tells me he's not going to be able to afford that.


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*-- 'Highlanders' Aren't What They Used to Be --*

A woman in Scotland managed to ward off a sword-wielding attacker at a fast food restaurant armed with only a plastic fork. Julie Crighton, 23, chased the attacker, 20-year-old Arthur Rennie, with the plastic utensil after he entered Cowden's News and Fast Food Shop with a sword and demanded she empty the cash register. "This was a large sword and the incident must have been very frightening," Judge Lady Rae of the High Court in Glasgow said. "She is an extremely brave young woman who tackled Mr. Rennie despite the fact he had that sword." Crighton said the man entered the store brandishing a 2-foot sword and entered the store while an accomplice waited at the door. "He came towards me and pushed me and I pushed him back. I think he realised I wasn't going to give him anything. He went out and I went out the shop after him. I wasn't thinking of catching him. Just seeing where he was going." She was able to identify the weapon in court and Rennie was sentenced to four years in prison.


*----- You Have to Appreciate the Ingenuity -----*

A Cologne drinks vendor modified a bottle-recycling machine to swindle tens of thousands of euros from the German recycling system. The German bottle recycling system is simple enough. Place the bottle in the machine, press the button, take your receipt, and get a few cents back. But the 37-year-old drinks salesman manipulated a bottle-recycling machine in the cellar of his drinks shop to earn a lot more than a bit of spare change. Having installed a magnet sensor into the machine, the man was able to feed the bottle into the mechanism, receive the compensation, and retrieve the bottle without it being shredded. The vendor was able to extract 44,362.75 Euros from the machine by inserting the same bottle into the machine a staggering 177,451 times. He might not have gotten caught if he hadn't rigged a machine in the basement of his own business. Then again, standing around someone elses recycling machine for the days it must have taken to insert a single bottle 177,451 times might have looked suspicious too.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

I know a lot of women who actually have a dick on their arm when they go out! Shouldn't be a problem to grow one. -Therese McCloskey

Would having a dick on your forearm constitute being "armed" with a dangerous weapon? -Buck

I stole that line about 'wee-ness of penis' from my daughter. She used it in reference to her baby boy. I don't know where she got the line. -Tim

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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