Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

One of the more famous Vampire Legends in history is the strange case of Elizabeth Bathory.

Countess Elizabeth Bathory was a serial killer from the Bathory family of nobility in the Kingdom of Hungary.

The Countess, and some other collaborators, were accused of torturing and killing hundreds of young women between 1585 and 1609. One of the more persistent rumors was that she bathed in the blood of the girls to retain her youth.

That accusation has never been proved - or disproved.

But as it turns out, ol' 'Batty' Betty might have been on to something after all.

The New York Post is reporting on a hot, new beauty trend that involves smearing your face with blood.

German orthopedic surgeon Barbara Sturm is known as the mother of the "vampire facial". This treatment involves spreading a layer of the patient's plasma on the face, then using needles to inject it deeper into the skin, because drinking it just doesn't do the trick.

She has also created a face cream called MC1 that is infused with proteins from each user's blood for a mere $950. And that is not the only expense.

To get your own, personal MC1 you have to fly to Germany where Sturm will draw your blood in order to turn it into a personalized cream. For your convenience she can even do this in your own hotel room, because that doesn't sound like the opening scene of a horror movie.

While the beneficial effects have not been clinically proven, Sturm does have a client list which includes names like Cher. But if you can't afford to fly to Germany and drop a thousand bucks on a skin cream, you can probably afford the 50 cents for a razor blade.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com





*-- Texas Mom Kept Tigers in Home with Daughter --*
A Texas woman was arrested on endangerment charges after she was found to be keeping at least three tigers and several monkeys inside her home. Court documents filed against Trisha Meyer allege Houston Police Department officers searched the woman's home when she was accused of receiving a $3,000 payment for a kitten she allegedly failed to deliver to the buyer. Police said Meyer's home had several exotic animals roaming freely inside, including three tiger cubs, an adult big cat variously reported to be a tiger or a cougar, a fox and a skunk. The suspect allegedly told game wardens "the tigers at their current ages were dangerous and could kill." Police said an endangerment investigation was opened due to Meyer's 14-year-old daughter living in the home. Police said the tigers were feeding on raw chicken and were being supervised by a 17-year-old.

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*------------ You Reap What You Sow ------------*
An 82-year-old man from Germany found his lost wedding ring wrapped around a growing carrot after losing the band in his garden three years ago. The man said his wife reassured him the ring would reappear after it fell into the dirt while he was gardening shortly after they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Six months after his wife's death, the ring surfaced. After finding the ring around the middle of the carrot, the man said that sometimes "you reap what you sow."




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
Many people have been shot with unloaded guns.


To the guy who wrote, "Guys, it's not the length of the wand, it's the magic in the stick. Really." I think maybe you are worried about the wee-ness of your penis. Guys with larger "wands" don't think it makes them less magical. -Tim Verity

Tim, that was me and I'm a girl. Did not mean large wands can't be magical, just that quantity without quality is a waste of wand. But 'wee-ness of penis' is funny.


Lewis, if the Chinese can grow a new ear on a guy's arm, why can't they grow a new dick? Say, one with a little more girth and length than the original? You know, for those who might suffer from a wee-ness of the penis. I can't see any drawback except for the fact that you'd have a dick on your arm for a few months.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*