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Sunday, November 13, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read a story about the 'supposedly' oldest man in the world. He is an Indian monk (dots not feathers) who claims to be 120 years old, although the records seem to be a little sketchy.

He is applying to Guinness World Records to verify his claim.

He attributes his longevity to daily yoga sessions, a very simple diet with no spicy food and, of course, no sex.

So it looks like I'm going to die young.



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"The world's most popular type of banana is now facing extinction due to a fungus in Panama. Yep. We're facing a banana shortage, so I guess that means people are really just happy to see you." -Jimmy Fallon

Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick.

For what it's worth, it reaches all the way to the back of her sister's throat!"

"The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show aired tonight. Normally, you'd have to watch the Food Network to see that many oily ribs." Seth Meyers

Conswelo, a Mexican maid announced to her boss, Mrs. Blanco that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way."

The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who the father could be.

The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."

Mrs. Blanco was mortified and demanded an explanation.

"Well," Conswelo explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, 'You are in the way'. I go to the living room to clean and your son say 'You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I quit."

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