Thursday, November 3, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Just what I need to break up the nice, quiet boredom of the first weekend I've had free in months; a wedding. I would have blown the whole thing off except for the fact that it is one of my cousins getting married.
Who the hell gets married in November?
But, who knows, I might even get laid.
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: firstname.lastname@example.org
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"Google is reportedly working on an update to the mobile version of its Chrome web browser to make it easier for people to use one handed. So I guess they're finally admitting what most people are using the Internet for." -Seth Meyers
Guys are like buses...if you miss one, another will be along soon.
Girls are like buses too...sometimes you just need one for a quick ride.
"The ride share company Uber announced a promotion this week called Uber Health where people can use their app toward a free flu shot. Imagine how terrified you would be if you meant to call a regular Uber and suddenly a guy gets out of the car and says, 'Drop your pants, this is going to take a minute.'" -James Corden
Bob a young journalism graduate from Tennessee had gone to work for the New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to Bob and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state of Arkansas. Deep in the woods, Bob came upon a farmer's house and decided this would be a good place to start. He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer (named Farmer Dick) agreed to answer his questions. Bob asked Farmer Dick what event in his life had made him the happiest? Farmer Dick replied, "One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all had sex with it, we took it back to the farmer that lost it."
"I can't print that," said Bob, the reporter. "Is there another event that made you really happy?"
Farmer Dick thought for a minute and said, "Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin' young girl. We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us had sex with her, we took her back to her daddy."
Again Bob knew he couldn't print the story and decided to take a different tack. He asked Farmer Dick, "Is there any event in your life that has made you really sad?"
Farmer Dick hung his head and replied, "Well, I got lost once."