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THE DAILY GROANER - November 2, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

Halloween was a great time. The kids had fun going door to door, begging for free candy. Kids love free stuff.

They hit the motherload in our new neighborhood. Holy Moley! We got more candy than we could possibly eat before next year's Halloween.

They've been eating it for almost two days straight. I would stop them, but the sugar-high has got them moving so lively and nimbly that it's almost impossible to catch them.

Next year I'll be more prepared. I'll just eat a little more candy that they do so I can move a bit faster. Problem solved!

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- What Do You Have to Say? --*

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

*-- The Motorway and the Tarmac --*

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.

The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?

The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?

A: Ferry tales!

Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

A: By flood lighting!


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