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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Firefighters in Arizona shared photos from the rescue of a 26-year-old man who was trapped for four hours in his own chimney.

The Tucson Fire Department said crews responded to a University area home after a neighbor reported hearing a man shouting for help.

Firefighters found the man's feet were touching the floor of his house, but his body was wedged in the fireplace due to its decreased diameter toward the bottom.

The crews lowered a rope and were able to hoist the soot-covered man to safety.

The 26-year-old man told firefighters he had been trapped for about four hours after he accidentally locked his keys inside the home and tried to get back in through the chimney.

"He did not appear to be injured, but was medically evaluated at the scene by paramedics," the fire department said.


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*----- Woman Explodes Vacuum with Gasoline -----*

Security cameras at a Florida car wash captured the moment a vacuum exploded while a woman was using it to clean gasoline from the trunk of her car. Billy Barnwell, owner of Shuttle Car Wash in Titusville, said his surveillance camera captured the moment the vacuum exploded in flames while a woman was using it to suck up the gasoline that apparently spilled in the trunk of her car. "It was a heck of an explosion. It just burnt everything up," Barnwell said. "If you saw the video, you've seen it. It scared the heck out of her." The woman, who did not appear to be injured in the explosion, drove off without speaking to employees about the blast. Barnwell said she hasn't been seen at the station since the incident.


*-- At Least a Soda Bottle Doesn't Talk Back --*

A Honduran man was rushed to a hospital after his private parts were stuck inside a soda bottle for several days, doctors said. The 50-year-old man, who was not identified, told doctors that he occasionally used a soda bottle to pleasure himself as he was unable to get it on with women. However last week, after the 50-year-old man forced his private parts into the soda bottle, he was unable to remove it. He was very embarrassed, and refrained from seeking help. After four days, his private parts turned black and began to decay as a result of necrosis. He checked himself into a hospital, where doctors had no choice but to remove his private parts. The man can no longer have sex, but he is still able to urinate.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

There are too many helicopter parents today. So you have a toddler wandering the streets half naked in the middle of the night and all of a sudden the father is a bad parent? When I was four years old I used to drive myself back and forth to daycare.

It's too bad that useless dad won't be sterilized. There is somebody who shouldn't be a parent. Unfortunately he kid is probably ruined too, so now we have to generations of assholes to deal with.

Any asshole can run a marathon while juggling balls. I'll be impressed when you find somebody who can run a marathon while juggling badgers.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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