MOUTHPIECE - October 4, 2016
It's October! Are you kidding me? I can't believe it's October and Fall and 2016 is starting to wind down. Oh, boy.
Well, to get over this sense of weirdness how about we enjoy some quotes, a pair of games and some Wacky 911 calls? Sound good?
That's the spirit! I knew you wouldn't let me down.
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true."
--Sir Winston Churchill
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
"Recommend to your children virtue; that alone can make them happy, not gold."
--Ludwig van Beethoven
[m] What's On the Web?
Guess the Dictator/Sitcom Character Game
Have you always thought of yourself as a sitcom character? Or maybe a world-class dictator? No, me either. But now you can. Pretend to be the bumbling sidekick or the heartless autocrat and our state-of-last-century's-art algorithm will guess who you are. Can't think of a sitcom character or dictator? Then answer the questions as yourself, and you'll find out whom you most resemble.
Visit: Guess the Dictator/Sitcom Character Game
A game of skill and patience. Click on two matching tiles
to remove them and try to get rid of all the tiles to win.
[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Wacky 911 Calls --*
* A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share a hotel room and there weren't enough towels.
* A man called 911 and said: "Please connect me to Seitzerland."
* A lady called 911 because of a fight going on in a parking lot. When asked to describe the combatants, she said: "I'll try. There's one man, and he's dressed like Elvis. He's kicking another man who's laying on the ground and screaming 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog.'"
* Another person called to report he had the hiccups.
* A thirteen-year-old boy called to report he had "stuff" coming from his navel. Paramedics examined the boy and all they found was belly-button lint.
* A male complainant called and requested police call gas stations on all exits of I-95 to find out which ones were open.
* A woman called emergency to report she had seen a wild mouse in her house.
* Someone called 911 to report the parrot got out of his cage and was in a tree outside.
* A man broke up with his girlfriend and wanted police to go by her house and report to him the owners of any cars, other than hers, in her driveway.
* A man called to report he had a roach stuck in his ear.
* A guy called to ask if they delivered dope. When the person answering told him it was the Sheriff's Department, he hung up.
* Another winner called to ask when the Cinco de Mayo celebration was. (Cinco de Mayo means the 5th of May)
* A female complainant called to request a police officer come to her residence to change the battery in her smoke detector. She couldn't reach it.
* A drunk called 911 to order a pizza.
* A woman called to report that someone had trespassed on her property. When asked how she knew this, she reported that the person had trimmed her rose bushes, and she knew it was her next-door neighbor.
* A person called to find out the number to the police station.
Missed an Issue? Visit the Mouthpiece Archives