Sunday, October 2, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I saw an old friend this weekend and he was a bit distraught. It seems his wife of ten years, the mother of his two children, is having lesbian fantasies of late. Folks, this is a true story.
Of course, when he first told me this I jumped in with every lesbian joke I could think of. But when he just stared at the ground without laughing I shifted into concerned friend mode and paid attention to his pain.
He proceeded to tell me how his role had diminished since he agreed to stay home with the kids, while Butch, his wife, went to work and came home with the bacon.
I was fine until he wanted to tell me about the dreams she's been having.
"No! I don't want to know!" I protested as he gushed all of his "my wife is a new lesbian and these are her fantasies" stuff on me.
Actually, I'm pleasantly surprised with myself that I didn't want to know. I mean, come on, we all know what two groups of people really dig lesbians: All guys, and all lesbians.
And genius me, at all of the dinners my wife and I shared with them, while I was quietly confident that Butch was attracted to me, she was probably scoping out my wife.
I feel for my friend, because as a man I'm not sure how one recovers from causing ones wife to go lesbo. I mean what do they have that we don't? OK, a vagina, but what does that do? It just kind of sits there.
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: firstname.lastname@example.org
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"A new study shows that eating bacon can lower a man's chances of getting a woman pregnant. Scientists are calling it alarming. Men are calling it a win-win." -Conan O'Brien
A student asked his English professor, "What is the definition of a dilemma?"
The professor said, "Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that.
"Imagine that you are lying naked in a big bed, flat on your back with a beautiful naked young woman on one side, and a horny naked gay man on the other.
"Now, which one are you going to turn your back on?"
"A new restaurant has opened in Los Angeles that creates special dinners based on the city's most notorious murders and crimes. So you have to be careful if you order an O.J. with your breakfast." -Seth Meyers
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos."
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up'?"